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Now In Our 10th Year!

Stage Werx Theatre
446 Valencia nr 16th
San Francisco

February 10, 2019 @ 7 p.m.

Marga Gomez photo

Marga Gomez

The Spanking Machine

It’s a cold December afternoon in Miami in the parking lot of Havana Harry’s. After 40 years, Marga is meeting the first boy she ever sloppy kissed, back when he was a closeted altar boy and she was in love with a nun. Before her flight to Miami, he texts that “by the way” he’s had Parkinson’s for 10 years but it’s not too bad. When he pulls up in the LYFT he shouts out the window “What’s up, Sugarplum?!” Once out of the car he moves with great effort on his cane. Suddenly he begins to twitch and shake wildly, his eyes rolling back and his tongue hanging out until Marga catches him in her arms. “I’m joking,” he says. “Let’s get some lunch.”

Beth McLaughlin photo

Beth McLaughlin

Cocky

In third grade, we were all encouraged to get ID bracelets with our name, address and phone numbers on them — for when our small bodies were found after a Hiroshima-like blast, I guess, though we also had the Zodiac Killer — and mine had some guy with a nimbus-like halo on the front, while Jenny Hill’s only had rainbows and flowers, and mine said, “St. Christopher, protect us in our travels; In case of an accident, notify a priest.” So, I guess, yes, technically, in a nuclear war, I am Catholic.

Bobby August, Jr. photo

Bobby August, Jr.

My Mom Says I’m Better Than You

It’s 7th grade at the middle school dance and my big crush is there surrounded by friends and giggling… her long, blue dress seems to magnify the sparkle of her already piercing green eyes… I slowly put one foot in front of the other… palms are sweaty, heart is palpitating, just waiting for that perfect moment… but there’s never really a perfect moment, is there?

Kathleen Denny photo

Kathleen Denny

Tolerance

Every time Kat looks up, she sees that pinup calendar with a gal who is NOT demonstrating any mechanical technique! And this is just the start of an eight-hour shift. But Kat is the first woman machinist the airline hired since the 1970s, and it will be three years before Anita Hill tells the world about Clarence Thomas and Long John Silver. Most people have never heard the term sexual harassment. What happens when Rosie the Riveter meets #MeToo?

February 17, 2019 @ 7 p.m.

Marga Gomez photo

Marga Gomez

The Spanking Machine

It’s a cold December afternoon in Miami in the parking lot of Havana Harry’s. After 40 years, Marga is meeting the first boy she ever sloppy kissed, back when he was a closeted altar boy and she was in love with a nun. Before her flight to Miami, he texts that “by the way” he’s had Parkinson’s for 10 years but it’s not too bad. When he pulls up in the LYFT he shouts out the window “What’s up, Sugarplum?!” Once out of the car he moves with great effort on his cane. Suddenly he begins to twitch and shake wildly, his eyes rolling back and his tongue hanging out until Marga catches him in her arms. “I’m joking,” he says. “Let’s get some lunch.”

Scott Cohen photo

Scott Cohen

Always Start with a Joke

Why do people laugh when someone tells a joke? Scott thought he knew the answer to this question. It’s because the joke is over. Scott had heard and retold thousands of jokes before his seventh birthday. He was intimately familiar with the pattern.

Step 1: Say some words;
Step 2: Pause;
Step 3: Say some more words;
Step 4: Everybody laughs.

Every joke was the same, until he heard the one about the elephant and the naked man. What the elephant said changed his world, forever.

Ady Lady photo

Ady Lady

NamaSegway

As the line begins to crest Hippie Hill, the guy in front slows down. A second later he spins and takes out the woman behind him. Some uncle tries to be a hero, winds up on his ass, and suddenly a Segway is wandering off, sans rider, into some nearby bushes. As Ady watches the carnage play out and begins to ponder the ensuing accident report, all she can think is, “Where do I begin?”

Kelly J. Kelly photo

Kelly J. Kelly

Stepford Wife Wannabe

From the age of five, all Kelly wanted to do was become an airline stewardess. One day, she and her twin lined up all of their stuffed animals on the stairway at home and pretended the toys were the passengers in a DC-8 fan jet. There were even some celebrities on board: Strawberry Shortcake and Winnie the Pooh. They flew that stairway all over the nation. Why wouldn’t Kelly become a stewardess?